In Memoriam

I shouldn't have to be doing this.  Not when I already did one earlier this year (see 3/4/23 post) about my friend Bob.  Bob was 72.  And Eliot was only 71.  Yes, Eliot had some health problems over the years, but he got them taken care of ...at The Mayo Clinic!  And he went for checkups regularly, always telling me that his lab numbers and blood pressure readings were excellent.  So when I arrived home yesterday at 4:30 pm, and my wife was waiting for me and said "sit down, I have some bad news - Eliot died," I was shocked.  I blurted out - "my Eliot?"  It couldn't be.  We just had breakfast together on November 4 at one of the local delis.  It couldn't be.  His health was good, too good for a presumed cardiac arrest.  Why would G-d take my dear friend, Eliot?  The tears started flowing, and have continued to flow on and off since.

We met 28 years ago when my family moved across the street from where Eliot and his family lived.  It was a wonderful cul-de-sac street with an endless supply of kids.  My wife and I contributed three kids to the street, but Eliot and his wife contributed five.  All boys.  The middle one of the five was the same age as our twins, and they all became fast friends, just as Eliot and I did.  He and I would stand out on the street and talk for hours and hours.  

Their youngest son would often knock on our door on a Saturday morning, asking if our twins were awake yet.  If I said "no," he'd say "that's okay" and then march right into our house.  He always assured me that his Mom knew he was coming over to our house.  She never did, and would eventually call asking if he was at our house.  Sometimes, the four adults would go out to dinner.  And we were soon invited to their annual New Year's Eve get together, with other friends of theirs.  I don't like driving late on New Year's Eve, but there wasn't much traffic walking across the street.  

Eliot was a sabra.  He was born in Israel.  But he grew up in New York.  He would tell me how he always worked.  As a young guy he would plow snow for people.  He always took the initiative to do something.  Later on, he took over the food flavor business that his father started.  He greatly expanded the business, working long hours in order to do so.  And he traveled...and traveled...and traveled.  He had millions of miles of air travel under his belt.  He flew nationally and internationally.  While the company headquarters was local, he opened other locations in North America.  And he went to trade shows in the US and around the world.  He would tell me "you can't expand the business without making the personal connections."  

Over the years as the business expanded, he would get offers from some of the large regional or national brands to buy his business.  But he never sold, hoping that one day one of his sons would take it over.  I don't know how much money Eliot had accumulated from his success, and I would never ask.  But if I were to guess, it would be well into the millions.  But you would never know it from talking to him.  He was never pretentious.  He dressed just like an average guy.  He was as down to earth as could be.  He and I shared the same values.

I don't know all the reasons he and his wife separated five years ago.  I know that my wife and I were quite upset over it.  They stopped hosting the annual New Year's Eve get togethers.  No more going out with the four of us.  He told me some things.  His wife told me some things.  But the reality is, as the saying goes, we don't know what might be happening behind closed doors in someone else's home.  As my Mom always told me if I was having a disagreement with someone, "there are three sides to every story.  There's your side, there's the other person's side, and there's the truth."   

While he was still living in the house locally, he also got an apartment in a suburb of Dallas.  But he would always let me know when he was back in town so that we could go to breakfast together.  At those breakfasts we would sit and talk for two to three hours or more.  There was never a lull in the conversation.  I will miss that so, so much.  I just don't understand why G-d had to take my friend Eliot.  May G-d bless his soul, and may his family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.