(Note. For those missing my political posts, I will get back to those shortly. This post has a religious element to it. As readers know, I do not generally delve into religious matters. But, if you bear with me, and read through to the end, I think you will see how the issue I discuss can apply to anyone, religious or not. What follows is an email that I sent to my Rabbi at Chabad. I give my further thoughts at the end.)
"Rabbi, I have a story and was wondering about your take on it. In our temporary residence (since the tree fell onto our house) we have met a few neighbors. Next door to us is a couple, and we have spoken to the wife a few times. She explained that her husband had a stroke quite a few years ago, and suffers from aphasia. On multiple occasions we've seen him sitting at a table in the front of their garage and just looking out while listening to music. We've only been here a little over two weeks, but I never saw any of the other neighbors sitting with him.
Yesterday, I asked him if he would like company and he pointed to a chair for me to sit down. I then sat with him for about 45-60 minutes. There was some conversation. Not a whole lot. But at times he was smiling and even laughing. I don't bring this up because I am looking for praise. I am not. But I remember what it was like when I was a kid, having severe orthopedic problems. Not always being able to get out of bed or walk. And I remember the people who visited me. None of my guy friends did.
But two girls I was friendly with did visit me. One was from the neighborhood, and one I knew from school. And my friend's Mom would come up and talk to me. Maybe the boys just did not know how to deal with it, or what to say to me. But, as someone who has 'been there,' I had no reluctance sitting with this neighbor who suffered a terrible stroke. Then it got me thinking afterwards. I recalled a passage in the book 'Rebbe' by Rabbi Telushkin. If I recall correctly, the Rebbe was walking with his assistant back to 770 (770 Eastern Parkway is the location of the Chabad headquarters), when a man stopped them on the street and wanted the Rebbe's advice.
The assistant shooed the man away, saying the Rebbe was very busy and he would have to make an appointment. Later, the Rebbe corrected his assistant, telling him never to do that again. Said the Rebbe: 'What if I was put on this earth to help that man at that moment? What if that was my mission from G-d?' Then I thought, what if my mission was to sit with my neighbor? But for that to happen the tree had to crash into our house, or we never would have ended up next to these people. Did G-d do all this? How do we ever know?"
So, that is what I sent to my Rabbi. Unfotunately, he never addressed the issue. I understand how busy the Rabbis are. Since sending the above, I have sat with my neighbor additional times. And there have been times when I had to run an errand, but as he sees me about to get into my car, he waves for me to sit with him. I enjoy sitting with him. We like the same music for the most part. Sometimes he sings along. I told him if I sang along the entire neighborhood would leave.
But, on the serious issue that has intrigued me...You need not believe in G-d to realize that throughout our lives circumstances arise, giving us an opportunity to do good, or to just walk on by. The Chabad Rabbis do not believe in coincidences. Which would certainly explain why the Rebbe might think that his mission might have been to help that man at that moment. I thought to myself, "what a profound way of thinking." My job and my family kept me plenty busy for decades. I'm sure if I could look back in time and see the opportunities for doing good that I missed, I would be deeply embarrassed.
I can't do anything about missed opportunities. But I can try to do better from now on.
